I want this place to be active from now on, I feel I have always had, in the past few years, a costant hate/love for showing myself on social medias, talking about me, talking about my life and how things go with me in general. I am on every kind of social media and I do use them quite often, though for what concerns actually showing my real me, that's another story. I just think it's time I let this feeling go, since I struggle with this choice i'll try for a "let's share the more that i can" thing from now on!
The main purpose is open up to people, not feeling scared anymore or else too caring about this and that.
I have decided this year will be the "true myself " year, where I'll do everything in order to find the right choices for me in my life, and look up to what I really love and desire. I think most people who know me assume i am an extrovert kind of person, though the truth is instead that i am an introvert or actually a very well mess of the two things together, which makes everything worse for me, to an extent.
Truth is that I generally feel pretty much lonely most of the time, wether it is because of me closing myself out of the world, or the fact I always end up keeping a very few importants persons close to me only. Which I don't want to stop me from knowing lots of lovely people out there, not anymore.
The fact is, I don't want to be afraid anymore, even if I care too much, or if I tend to be selective and picky about people to have a comnection with (which i hate), there is no reasons why I should stop being who I am, a person who cares and loves deeply and wants to have friends, like everybody else.
Because of my work, being an indipendent artisan/designer, I basically spent the last years mostly sitting in my room, crafting for my shop and doing things, except for my trips to Japan, that gave more sense to my existence and made me the person I am now. Because of this, I feel I am a part-time hikikomori to an extent, of course I am not using this word meaning it at its full sense, but to give the idea where I feel trapped in my own country, in my own city, house, room, most of my days, months, years..
So, online activity someway became addictive, a way to escape from my everyday reality, and a trap nonetheless. Love & hate. But I am still here using an online social media, trying to express my feelings and forcing myself to be honest and true about anything, I am sure this is good!
Not really sure why, but it feels it is the right thing to do. Or maybe I just you know, need to vent and not bother anybody directly.
One thing is sure, I will try to update this place very often, even if just for a silly picture + quotes from a movie, or a consideration about life, or a more deep talking and such.
Thank you for everyone who felt curious to come here and read these silly words, it means so much to me, really.